Holidays can be painful when you’ve lost a loved one. Of all the holidays, Memorial Day was the easiest holiday for me to experience after my husband died. Every year since 1998, I’ve participated in the Bolder Boulder 10K (6.2 miles) event. Every year it’s been a mini-vacation—attending the Boulder Creek Festival on Sunday, spending the night at a hotel or rental house, running or walking in the race on Memorial Day, and watching the after-race tribute in the CU stadium surr

Yesterday was National Widows Day. To help support other widows, I went on Facebook to write a quick message and acknowledgement. When I logged in, the first post I saw was from a friend I’ve known for almost 20 years. Her post said she was celebrating her 15-year anniversary and had two photos from her wedding in Puerto Vallarta. We, of course, attended her wedding. In fact, I discuss her wedding in my book, Feeling Left Behind. My husband stood just outside one photo’s view

I’m excited to announce that I’ve been recognized as a Book Excellence Award Finalist for my book, Feeling Left Behind: Permission to Grieve, in the grief category. Out of hundreds of books entered into the Book Excellence Awards competition, they selected my book for its high-quality writing, design, and overall market appeal. Feeling Left Behind was released in 2019. I wrote the book because I felt there weren’t grief books that just allowed widows/widowers to grieve. Most

I received a text from a single friend who went to the grocery store forgetting that Valentine’s Day is Friday. She was bombarded by flowers, balloons, and reminders that she’s single. She wasn’t happy. I know this also can be a difficult day/week for those of you who’ve lost your partners. Thankfully, Valentine’s Day doesn’t affect me too much. But, I wish I could wipe it off the calendar because the day brings pain to many. I can’t do that, but here are suggestions for gett

New Year’s Eve . . . Other than in my younger years, when I liked to celebrate on New Year’s and drink, I’ve never been a fan. My sister died on New Year’s Eve. And as I mention in my book, after my husband died, I found New Year’s brutally painful. I couldn’t imagine moving into a new year without him. I wanted to go back in life, not forward. And with each passing New Year’s, I felt as if I was getting farther away from him. I’m now used to moving through New Year’s without

Welcome back to part 2 of my series on grieving and the holidays. In part 1, I suggested setting boundaries, planning ahead, giving to others, and honoring and incorporating your loved one into the holidays. Today’s suggestions include keeping rituals if they serve you, trying something different, taking comfort from animals, being ok if you want to celebrate, having compassion for yourself, and asking for support. Keep rituals if they serve you: I like to stay connected to m

The holiday season is here. This can be a challenging and heartbreaking time for those who are grieving. When you’ve lost a loved one, the holidays don’t feel like the “most wonderful time of the year.” Instead, it’s a time when your loved one’s absence is even more obvious and painful, and previous holiday memories inevitably come flooding back. I recently held a webinar with another grief author (Patti Ashley) with suggestions on handling the holidays while grieving. One su

Thanksgiving . . . this is a tough holiday for grieving people. After all, it’s a time when you’re supposed to surround yourself with friends and family and celebrate with gratitude. But when you’ve lost a loved one, that can feel hard—maybe impossible—to do. Last night, I saw a commercial on TV for a store. It had a large family gathered and celebrating Thanksgiving. The point of the ad was to inform that the store was closed on Thanksgiving. Rather than opening early for Bl

Today’s date—November 19—is the day my husband died. I find it an awkward day. Do I treat it like any other?