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What Should I Do on the Anniversary of His Death?

Today’s date—November 19—is the day my husband died. I find it an awkward day. Do I treat it like any other? It’s not an ordinary day, so I can’t. I have a widowed friend whose husband loved to fish on a particular spot on the river. So on the anniversaries of his death, she has gone there. I have another friend who goes to her husband’s grave on the anniversaries. Another friend lost his cousin 11 years ago, and on the anniversaries, he, his aunt, and other cousin gather for an annual tradition to commemorate him. Reg doesn’t have a grave, so I can’t go there. His family and closest friends don’t live here, so I can’t gather with them to remember him. His favorite place to snowboard was the Back Bowls at Vail. But those aren’t open yet (nor am I a good enough skier any more to ski them). I’m not in good enough shape to ride his favorite bike ride. Some years it’s warm on November 19, so I can hike, which he loved to do. But it’s too cold and snowy in his favorite hiking spots. So I don't really have a yearly, consistent ritual to commemorate him. However, I do frequently see Elisa Malangone, a medium, to communicate with Reg.

That is what I did today—I had a nice hike in a pretty location. Then I went to see Elisa. The best part of the day was driving home and hearing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” on the radio. I view that song as a sign from him, especially if I hear it “coincidentally” on important days, such as today.

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